FreeWrite #3k Miles

Water revisited. Oceans redefined. Space contemplated. Time confused. So who is telling the Truth? Which reality should I believe? One that sounds nice to my hopeful future? One that resonates of the past with alterations to my present? Twenty thousand a month. I want to live in New Hampshire. Miami. Los Angeles. New Orleans. San Diego. Boston. Italy. France. Spain. Portugal. The Netherlands. New York. I want a cigarette. Who has a light? Where are my goddamn matches? Let me light the cigarette then we can talk for hours. After this butt. Always after the next one. Should I stay? Where can one go from here? There is a nice commune/cult in India I'd like to visit for a few months... wear white robes and get in touch with my inner beast. Who wants to join me on a killing spree? I know my first target, hehe, a nice lad. I'm sure he's nice but damn, it just pisses me off. Who? You. Just breathe... the smoke in. Inhale a bit deeper and let that cancer grow within you. Festering postules. There is lightning outside. In Vegas. It seems every major event or thought in the past two months has been punctuated with bolts from the heavens. Leave: bolts. Drive: bolts. Love: bolts. When is it going to strike the ground in which I stand upon? Any second now and I'm ready cause it won't strike twice. I'm working for security... in my life. Security for those I love. 3k, 1 Love. Returned? I'm not sure yet. I think it was the right place, the directions on the map said so but everything still didn't look quite right. Sights were the same but the local color was off a bit. I think there was too much cyan. Either that or my eye sight is going. And my hearing. Deaf old fuck. The Withering applies to much more than my greying hair. If I had a grey hair for every time I said I Love You... wait, I think I do. Poppycock. What fresh Hell awaits me next? I think its time I follow suit of those I love and just stop caring for a bit. Give my emotions a vacation. Not become cold mind you, rather, just not care. mightylizardman still is no more but I think Cardinal Claudius needs a melding with Psycho Joe. Some cool calculations with some love of coffee and a zest for living while others die around me. Run. Run back to 'em. Like the way I used 'em? It doesn't denote sex therefore I could be talking about a boy or a girl therefore none of you know wto who I refer. Very crafty of me. I pat myself on the back and give myself a cookie... and a beer. It's around 4 in the morning and I'm drinking Coors Lite (Hail Hail Hawaiian Danielle) while writing. I'm a classy broad. Love me. Can anybody find me somebody to love? Queen? Are you out there? Is there anybody... Out there? Just nod if you can hear me. No one is at home. How true that turned out to be, ha. You know, if one were to read all of my freewrites I think they would know me better than most people who sit and talk with me for extended periods of time over long durations. I say here what my eyes only hint at. Why? Cause I don't really pay attention top what I type. I take a sip, a drag, and pound on the keyboard and just wait for whatever transpires upon the glowing screen before me. Its all quite fascinating, the technology that is. My life not so much. I am grey... no one understands me... I cry on the inside... LMFAO, yeah, I'm so goth, I know. Obviously no one undertands my morbid excuse for a life, hehehehe. I'm gonna go put some eyeshadow on now and kiss the mirror. Do you wanna fuck me? Put the fucking lotion in the basket!! I need a good fuck. Time to call Sherry up, lol. Sugarmama. Psycho Joe needs some for stress. Before you tsk me remember that I'm just chilling out. Everything isn't so important. Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar and other times a fuck is only a biological excuse to pretend to try and procreate even though we have no desire to in this modern day and age with the life I currently lead/need. Hugs not drugs kids. Hey you, call me, mmkay? I have a few words for you! Oh yes, a few. Like teet. I like that word. I shall use it four times today. With strangers. On the bus. Okay, I go now. Perhaps our paths will cross once again?

I'm smiling right now and I have no idea why. I'm gonna go smoke a butt, drink a beer and watch me some lightning over the Las Vegas desert. Life is decent at times. Peace.